Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

            That's basically the challenge that has been set down to me concerning my work out this week. Since I was planning on upping it anyway it nicely ties in but I may have over estimated my ability by saying I would add 10 minutes and 6km to my work out by the end of this week. Still, as I point out to my friends in a horrible attempt at a Bronx accent, "You ain't nothing if you don't got ambition!".

            I am at 203lbs this morning, although I was 202lbs yesterday so I'm not too upset - especially as Friday and to some extent Saturday were awful binge days. I'm not really sure why but I was in a pretty dark mood Thursday through to Saturday night. I've got a couple of ideas but it's not really important - net result was my diet suffered slightly. However, I'm now at the gym for 70-80 minutes and burning off 650-700 calories with each visit so I'm pretty chuffed with that. I also feel like I've been completely drained of energy afterwards but I accept that as part of the bargain.

            What have I done this week to improve my weight loss regime? Well, I stuck to my gym schedule pretty closely, but figured adding a trip on Sunday was probably fine. It worked out okay, so the schedule has been adapted to Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, Sunday. I also had to slap myself for misreading the calorie amounts on sliced ham although since I was over estimating the value I'm not too upset as it just means I get to eat more. For future reference - KJ's and Kcals are not the same thing. Obvious point but sometimes we miss the obvious things. I sure as hell did.

            Diet-wise I am finding it difficult to eat appropriately to compensate for the gym. At the moment I tend to still have a limited breakfast and lunch, go to the gym and burn 90% of my day's intake off and then have a huge dinner to compensate, occasionally treating myself to a beer if there's not enough food in the house or I simply can't bring myself to eat enough. Good point: My appetite is more controlled. Bad point: I shouldn't have so many calories in one go. A balanced intake over the course of the day would be much better.

            My diet goal for this week, as a result, is to work out how many calories to eat before gym so that it balances with those after the gym. This has two positive gains - firstly, my metabolism will have a more regular cycle and be able to adapt to it faster, encouraging weight loss. Second, I won't be able to argue that since I've eaten so little I don't necessarily have to go to the gym. This unhelpful train of thought is spawned from the inherent laziness that still survives within me and I am most displeased with it for doing so. By eating a substantial amount before the gym I will have to go so I can have a decent dinner, and hopefully this psychological block will be expunged.

            I also got laughed at for the first time at the gym this weekend, but not because I was fat, or because I wasn't working out to a decent degree, or because I was about to die on the cross trainer. It was because I was male; I had been lost in my own world trying to ignore the fact my body was screaming abuse at me, that I still had the cycling machine to do or that I was occasionally singing Plentakill lyrics under my breath and then looked up to find myself surrounded by women on the other cross trainers with a gym attendant moving between them and giving advice. The only other men were over in the weights area. My confused look got the smirking gym attendant - also female - to come over. She greeted me with, "So you're here for Girl Power Hour, I take it? You look a little lost." This was greeted with giggles and titters from the other girls and women around me.

            I could feel a rising panic - had I invaded a women-only class? Should I have known about it? Which window was most likely to break if I ran into it so I could escape this awkward moment? - but the response I gave was, "No, actually, I'm okay here. Thanks though, and I'm happy to help anyone who needs it." This didn't go down well with the gym attendant - she and I haven't always seen eye-to-eye on things, like using my phone while on the treadmill or my refusing to go through the induction process properly - but got a couple of laughs. I then had to man up and try to beat the girls either side of me; as a man, I would never live down being beaten by a girl. I suspect they were actually in better shape than me but I managed to maintain pace and ran for two minutes longer than they did so I'm going to claim victory. I definitely didn't look as chirpy as they did though.

            Penultimate for this entry is an offer. That's right, I'm offering something to other people beyond my own self-satisfied advice. If anyone in my local area - i.e. someone who knows me and lives nearby - wants to start going to the gym but isn't wholly confident about it I can help. On days I don't go to the gym, I am going to be going to the gym because as an amateur Sci-Fi writer I love paradox but also because I don't want to get into lazy habits. These sessions will be much shorter and more technical than my main sessions and would be a good introduction to the gym should someone want one. I'd also like company at the gym from people I get on with. If you don't know me or don't live near me I can still offer advice and instruction, to some extent, so feel free to get in touch! Comment here or email me at killingfatsoftly@gmail.com, or if you have another of my emails you can use that.

              Lastly, please comment and/or subscribe if you're enjoying this blog or find it remotely interesting/helpful. All support is appreciated greatly :D

Isolate, Zoom, Enhance; Deeper into Dieting.

            THE GOAL IS IN SIGHT! As of this morning I am 204lbs, 14lbs or a single stone off of my target weight of 190lbs or 13.5 stone! Which is approximately 89kgs for those who aren't familiar with the single greatest scale of weight measurement I know.

            The bad news is that I would still call myself fat. I'm sure a lot of my friends would not, but then some of them didn't when I was borderline obese - and not the good side of the borderline, to boot. I'm several people I know would call me fat, some of them being other friends. Regardless, I only have to look at myself to know I've made impressive progress and I would like to thank everyone who has helped, advised, instructed and/or motivated me along the way - all encouragement is gratefully received.

            Nearing the end of my weight loss drive I can safely say that my biggest problem now are hunger-grumps. On days I don't go to the gym I eat substantially less than on days I do and anyone who knows me will be most likely agree I am at my most generally un-fun when I'm hungry. The one who suffers this the most is probably my girlfriend who has braved meals with me when I'm starving - a time when I would normally slouch off alone to eat something and not inflict myself on anyone. I do listen when she tells me I need to eat something - a politer way of telling me I'm being moody - but sometimes I fear my efforts to restrain my bad mood just look like I'm sulking.

            The problem regarding these mood swings is energy levels - or I'm going to assume it's energy levels; if this is incorrect can someone please correct me. I've known for a long time I get grumpy or easily frustrated when I'm hungry and do try to warn people. Working in a call centre customer services team I knew my worst calls were usually just before lunch when the promise of food was on the horizon but tauntingly out of reach until I had convinced the mutton-head on the end of the phone that they had not, in fact, been wronged and if they employed whatever reading skill they had with regard to the policy they would appreciate this. Alas, it rarely happened.

            Example: On Saturday I went shopping with girlfriend after watching a film. My first mistake was when she said, "I need to pick up some new boots" I didn't immediately begin preparing myself for a shopping trip. I even offered it, so the fault lies squarely on my head. We were only actually roaming around for about an hour but I'd only had a couple of nibbles of ice-cream to eat. I used to be quite good at the whole shopping-assistant/bag-carrier thing but I didn't succeed in this instance. I didn't realise I was being moody until she told me I needed to eat something, so I must have been pretty hungry.

            I didn't realise how hungry I was until she confiscated the chilli oil and I felt wronged. I quickly corrected myself - she hadn't said a word about my eating a whole pizza, and had even given me some of hers. I use this example to highlight how unreasonable hunger can make me and, I assume in a rather hopeful manner, everyone else.

            The chilli oil wasn't really going to add anything to the meal that it didn't already have. I still felt a flash of pain it had been denied me. That was my body begging for sustenance. After some retrospective analysis, I believe my work out pattern, and the subsequent it has on my eating habits, can be named as the source of this problem. I used to work out three days in a row and then have four days rest. There's a lot of advice around for working out, and I liked the idea of getting my workouts done and dusted early in the week so followed that pattern.

            This was a mistake. While it does work for some, it is a pretty bad idea if you're on a strict-ish diet like myself. The net result is if you work out Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and then rest for four days you have a substantially higher calorie intake on those days followed by a longer period of eating less. This, I think, confuses the body's metabolism and so one ends up running on empty nearer the end of the cycle - Saturday and Sunday, in this instance. Ergo I am at my most unfriendly and anti-social on these days, which are classically the days reserved for socialization and seeing people one is supposed to be friendly and amiable with.

            Through some miracle my friends have not deserted me. Following other, probably more appropriate advice I have now changed my workout pattern to Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday so it is more evenly spread over the course of the week. This means my average calorie intake is much more level from day to day, and hopefully my energy levels - along with my ability to be a decent person who's company is desirable - should be higher on average throughout the week. It also makes Saturdays extremely busy for me but I cannot complain; it's all self inflicted and mostly enjoyable.

            My point is that while you should have a workout and diet plan that is preferable to you, it should be taken into consideration the effects it may have on other parts of your life. Are there knock on effects? What impact will it have on you as a person? Is it, all things considered, really the workout and diet plan that is most preferable. Remember, you can always change it later so don't feel that because it might not work a month, two months down the line is reason to scrap it all together. Take it apart and piece it back together. You want to work out three days a week? Which days do you have time? What are you doing on those days? What are you doing the days after? Is it really appropriate you do it then?

            This might seem to conflict with other advice I have given, but I would say that it is more of an update as I become more aware and informed about the process of dieting and exercise. Do it for you, above and beyond all else, but consider how it will affect you and those around you. It's not worth becoming the guy or girl at the gym that everybody hates and laughs at for having no friends. Unless you already have no friends; if that is the case, go for it.

My War on Fat Continues

            I acknowledge this post is a bit fast after the last one BUT in the interests of trying to get back on track I thought it was worth doing. I have unsurprisingly not lost weight since yesterday. However, as you may have guessed from the title I wanted to go back to the issue of food rather than exercise as I haven't really visited it for some time. This is because the focus of my diet regime has become exercise for the recent past but that will normalize after I've been going to the gym regularly for awhile I expect.

            Firstly, I'm eating a lot more now. This is because I am exercising. "But surely you should just not eat, surely that would only help you lose weight?" - Yes, through starvation. Let's do the math:

Daily calorie intake (aimed at losing 2lbs/wk): 1420

Starvation limit (the minimum I require to stay out of my body's emergency fat storage mode): 1200

Average workout in calories: 450-500.

            So, 1420 - 450 = 970. This is 230 below the starvation limit. Yes, I could in theory set my calorie limit at 1200 but that leaves no margin for error as well as leaving me to very little to eat. Arguably, I could exercise to gain some back as I am doing at the moment but there are a few things that put me off this. Firstly, the margin for error is, as mentioned, zero and I'd rather have a safety blanket for the days I do go under. Secondly, the extra 220 calories a day gives me a lot more freedom with my food choices and means I don't have to stress about it so much, in turn making the whole diet thing easier. Thirdly there's a lot of professional advice (almost overwhelming) that strongly suggests trying to lose more than two pounds of weight a week is bad for you.

            And, finally, losing 2lbs of weight a week is a lot. That's three and a half 8oz steaks a week I am meant to be losing from my body mass, or the equivalent weight of one and half litres of water. That's loads! It's probably more than I eat in a day, and only about 60% of that is actually taken into my body! (Obviously this is how dieting works. I highlight it for comparative reasons). It averages out at a stone every two months. So losing more than that is probably unnecessary anyway.

           

            Ergo, if you are trying to lose weight but are putting effort into going to the gym while on a restrictive diet, DO reward yourself with a little bit extra to eat. DO NOT assume it's all bonus calorie loss and think three sandwiches will power you through your normal day as well as a five mile hike or treadmill run. The human body is a biological machine which needs fuel to achieve activity. You wouldn't hold off on filling your car up because burning fumes for longer makes the engine more efficient, would you?

            I have become slightly lax with my restraints as well, following the gym endeavours. Sometimes I need some emergency calories - like if I work too hard at the gym or haven't eaten enough beforehand. Ergo, I have had 3 packets of crisps in the last month and about thirty chips. The chips didn't even feel good but I was out for a meal and desperately need to make up for calories after I found out that we weren't going to be getting popcorn. I also occasionally get to have a beer or two as opposed to being laughed at for drinking spirits with diet mixers rather than 'manly' drinks. Those jibes cut deep, lads, but when I hit my goal I'll still show you all up at the celebration.

            I have just returned from the shop to get more multivitamins. I also bought some of the Sun-Bite crisps as they're low in calories (more by virtue of being few in number than being well made) for emergency calories and a twenty-four pack of diet coke. I went down in cut-offs, flip flops and a Hawaiian shirt which I threw on so I wasn't indecently clad. Not fantastic gear for October in England but I drove there and back so the cold didn't catch me. Nor the rain, thankfully.

            However I did over-hear two girls/women/female denizens of my home town commenting on my purchases behind me in the queue. I admit, it wasn't the most amazingly balanced set of items to buy but to be fair it was none of their business. One of them made the comment, "If he wants to get in shape why not buy foods with that stuff in and not multivits and junk?" I turned around and, rather than yelling at them which was my first impulse, asked with what I hoped to be a condescending smile what they knew about my diet. This stunned them and their-previously silent male companion. Fortunately calling people on snide remarks is not something often done in English supermarkets so I had the initiative. I told them maybe I was aware my diet lacked certain vitamins and minerals due to medical problems I had, or perhaps they were for a family member. In fairness I could make my diet more balanced min/vit-wise but the Omega3 ones are pretty vital because I can't eat fish.

            The guy actually came to their rescue, although I think his aim was more to make fun of them and ease any tension that might have been in the air, by telling them they should really think before they speak. From some awkward place inside me I keep emotions I don't need sprang a bit of guilt; they were only about eighteen or twenty and I probably didn't need to confront them with the aim of ripping apart whatever they said to me so I laughed it off and said it was fine but maybe they should ask before they judge next time. So it all went better than expected, they apologised and I forgave them.

            They had also commented on my dress sense before looking in my basket but in fairness I had no defence; I was in beach gear in a country where wearing shorts in October is a good way to find out how absorbent your lower legs are. The flip-flops probably would have been hidden in jeans. The shirt was part of a group decision to have the least serious team uniform at any gaming events my friends and I went to compete in and as such would never be worn anywhere except a tropical beach and even then only by people who had little taste in fashion, clothing or colour patterns in general.

            Really what I am trying to relay is that I have become very aware of what I'm eating all the time to the extent that I sometimes only eat half a meal because while I really, really, really, wanted to eat it all of it was too much for my calories. I have started using the practice of doggy bags again and usually have the rest of my meal the next day, though, so I'm actually eating a lot of food I want a lot of the time. Which is great for my dietary morale. So my advice from this post can be condensed to: eat what you want, when you want it but only in the correct quantity.

            On a particularly bad day, the correct quantity is 'as much as you like'. The diet is for you, it does not rule you. Comfort eating is understandable in extreme situations and you shouldn't make yourself feel worse by avoiding it. Having said that a 'particularly bad day' should only happen to you once every fortnight at most. If it happens more often you have non-diet issues to address and should do so first. Always remember that dieting is a first-world issue and should not be put above life necessities like having a job.

Zen and the Art of Diet, Part I

            I am aware this is very, very delayed and have been nagged about getting this post done all week. The diet was on target until Friday night when basically everything I knew about my home town fell apart and I think myself and my friends we still in shock on Saturday. That's my excuse for the last two days. I got nothing to excuse the rest of the week I didn't post.

           

            I am now pretty squarely set into my gym going ways - I go three days in every seven. It started at about 40 minutes but I've pushed it up to an hour in pursuit of my goal. I now weigh 206lbs and am about as fit as I was when I was 20. That isn't saying I'm greatly in shape, but I'm getting there. I'm finding it easier to push myself further while working out and I'm starting to get some enjoyment out of it - although part of that is linked to a relief I don't have to sweat heavily in front of innocent members of the public for any longer when I'm finished.

            I'm finding that I can reach a stage of ache and discomfort from which my body doesn't move on or degrade from while working out, a balance of having the energy to work out and the ache that lets me know it is working. It's not a great feeling, but was I've got I know I can keep going for a while without having to worry about being out of breath, having heart palpations or collapsing which is good. I think part of my problem before was not being familiar with this state so I didn't know when I reached it. It's a weird kind of stress and tension that feels functional. Someone will probably tell me that it's part of evolutionary biology and part of chemical psychology but all I need to know - and all I'm going to tell you - is that it makes for a great work out condition.

            The harder part has been getting to the gym. Complications with my car and a couple of holidays I've had to cancel have put me in a pretty damned bad mood this week and I didn't really want to do anything productive. However, I figured physical exertion is the best way to express anger and frustration so managed to goad myself into going to the gym. A couple of friends (probably unknowingly) helped by asking about it at just the right moment. I've also made a friend there, after a rocky start, which has helped a lot. Even if she thinks I'm a lot better at the gym than I really am it's nice to know someone there. It's like the gym people are slowly accepting me.

            What else? I was warned that talking about beer and calories in the same sentence was the gayest thing I'd ever done after calculating how much a round at the pub was in calories in under a couple of seconds and I got away with ordering diet mixers all night at my local even after the staff found out I was on a diet and laughed at me. I mean, being fat was bad and I didn't like it - I can accept that now even if I didn't then - but I actually get treated a lot more derisively for being on a diet now then I ever did before. It's really weird and I'm going to put it down to jealousy and just carry on doing what I'm doing. I know it's working, so that's fine. As a warning to people who want to start dieting, it apparently can happen.

            I get a lot of support too though so that's very gratefully received from all sources - including my old course mates. I have however agreed to a Thanksgiving extravaganza with them which will put my calorie in take in such peril as will not be rivalled until Christmas. I also won't be able to go to a gym on that day to help manage it, so I will have to plan for it ahead. I may just get to my friend's house and the go for a two hour run before devouring more food than should fit in a human's stomach. I will unashamedly enjoy it, however, and there will be no guilt whatever happens. Worst comes to worst, I will have a temporary set back in weight loss which I can live with. As I often say to people, life goes on. This is nearly always true and when seriously considered quite a fair statement - bad things happen but as long as you don't die you will most likely be able to get on with life. Please don't rail against this comment, citing AIDS, cancer, limb loss etc. The best stories about those conditions aren't about the people who give up and die; they're about the heroic individuals who accept it and get on with living while they can.

            Trying to raise the tone after that small downer, I've been challenged to have the body of a marvel superhero by the end of the month. I won't succeed but I'm going to do what I can to try. Until next post diet fans, farewell!

Closing in on the goals

            First things first; a shout out to my friend George who read this blog, got inspired and has started going to the gym. He doesn't need to lose any weight - quite the opposite - so is on a very different work out regime to me but I wish him the best of luck with it! It was pretty cool to be told I'd inspired someone to start pursuing their own fitness improvement plan and it only gives me greater reason to keep going.

            Secondly I am 209lbs as of this morning, so finally under the 15 stone mark. I've been struggling to lose than last bit of weight to get me under and I'm pretty damn happy that I've managed it. This means I am only 20lbs off of my goal of 189lbs - 13.5 stone. 20lbs may sound like a lot but since starting my diet seven months ago I've lost 50 whole pounds so I've definitely done the hard part. I'm making an estimate that 12 more weeks will see me reach that goal and I cannot wait!

            Now the slightly less positive side. I still have an unfortunate amount of shape to me. This is, a very brief bit of research using what are probably not professional sources and some which are tells me, because I have lost a significant amount of weight in a relatively short time and my body has had time to adjust gradually. I should continue to lose shape once I hit my goal weight and level off my diet but it is a little disappointing.

           

            All problems beg a solution, every obstacle is one to be climbed - so how do I tackle this? I could be patient and just wait. There are two problems with this; I'm pretty impatient as described earlier in this blog and it doesn't feel like a proactive response. In fact, it feels a lot like being lazy. So what is my chosen solution? More focused exercise! If I work out the areas that have the shape on them they should lose the shape faster. A genius hypothesis supported by (some of) the research I found.

           

            Now, what are the complications of that solution? Well, for starters I'm not that in shape. My half hour jog (extended to 32mins for a total of 3.5kilometres)  doesn't leave me quite as exhausted as it did before but I really do not feel up to doing squat thrusts or sit ups afterwards. My decision is to do 10 minutes rowing, increasing that as time goes on and my stamina improves but I don't know whether I can manage 10 minutes rowing on top of 30 minutes jogging. Do I cut back on jogging a little to fit the rowing in? Do I start with a lesser amount of time rowing? Do I wait until I'm in better shape to start rowing and just bring myself to do some sit-ups in the morning and evening?

            Probably a mixture of those choices. Waiting, as described above, is probably out and I don't really want to cut back on the jogging as I want to focus on my cardio and stamina - it's also better for calorie loss. So I may just do 5 minutes rowing and build on that to start with, coupled with some sit-ups before and after bed. We'll see how that goes and no doubt updates on it will appear here.

            I have also come to accept there are other things to do at the gym other than cardio. As I get closer to my goal I've started to branch out a bit and now include a ten minute weight session - obviously not continuous, exercise is staggered over that time because I know it isn't a good plan to start off by lifting continuously for whole minutes at a time. Why have I started this? Well, I did originally cast the idea out as I was focused on losing shape but now I've done 60-65% of that I want to start looking at fitness beyond not being obese. It's only a light session but a) that's the best way to start and b) it gives me a foundation to work on once I reach my weight goal. This will, as the cardio work has, increase with time and should hopefully mean I don't go through a stage of looking like a desiccated husk with bags of excess skin. Not a nice image at all, which is why I hope to avoid it.

            So all in all a very positive report, if three days late. However, while these posts are not quite regular they are becoming increasingly frequent so hopefully that'll compensate for it. As ever questions, comments and congratulations welcome! And to everyone out there who takes anything away from this please let me know and/or talk to me about it - even if it's questioning what I've said. As Descartes told us, a little existential doubt never hurt.