Zen and the Art of Diet, Part I

            I am aware this is very, very delayed and have been nagged about getting this post done all week. The diet was on target until Friday night when basically everything I knew about my home town fell apart and I think myself and my friends we still in shock on Saturday. That's my excuse for the last two days. I got nothing to excuse the rest of the week I didn't post.

           

            I am now pretty squarely set into my gym going ways - I go three days in every seven. It started at about 40 minutes but I've pushed it up to an hour in pursuit of my goal. I now weigh 206lbs and am about as fit as I was when I was 20. That isn't saying I'm greatly in shape, but I'm getting there. I'm finding it easier to push myself further while working out and I'm starting to get some enjoyment out of it - although part of that is linked to a relief I don't have to sweat heavily in front of innocent members of the public for any longer when I'm finished.

            I'm finding that I can reach a stage of ache and discomfort from which my body doesn't move on or degrade from while working out, a balance of having the energy to work out and the ache that lets me know it is working. It's not a great feeling, but was I've got I know I can keep going for a while without having to worry about being out of breath, having heart palpations or collapsing which is good. I think part of my problem before was not being familiar with this state so I didn't know when I reached it. It's a weird kind of stress and tension that feels functional. Someone will probably tell me that it's part of evolutionary biology and part of chemical psychology but all I need to know - and all I'm going to tell you - is that it makes for a great work out condition.

            The harder part has been getting to the gym. Complications with my car and a couple of holidays I've had to cancel have put me in a pretty damned bad mood this week and I didn't really want to do anything productive. However, I figured physical exertion is the best way to express anger and frustration so managed to goad myself into going to the gym. A couple of friends (probably unknowingly) helped by asking about it at just the right moment. I've also made a friend there, after a rocky start, which has helped a lot. Even if she thinks I'm a lot better at the gym than I really am it's nice to know someone there. It's like the gym people are slowly accepting me.

            What else? I was warned that talking about beer and calories in the same sentence was the gayest thing I'd ever done after calculating how much a round at the pub was in calories in under a couple of seconds and I got away with ordering diet mixers all night at my local even after the staff found out I was on a diet and laughed at me. I mean, being fat was bad and I didn't like it - I can accept that now even if I didn't then - but I actually get treated a lot more derisively for being on a diet now then I ever did before. It's really weird and I'm going to put it down to jealousy and just carry on doing what I'm doing. I know it's working, so that's fine. As a warning to people who want to start dieting, it apparently can happen.

            I get a lot of support too though so that's very gratefully received from all sources - including my old course mates. I have however agreed to a Thanksgiving extravaganza with them which will put my calorie in take in such peril as will not be rivalled until Christmas. I also won't be able to go to a gym on that day to help manage it, so I will have to plan for it ahead. I may just get to my friend's house and the go for a two hour run before devouring more food than should fit in a human's stomach. I will unashamedly enjoy it, however, and there will be no guilt whatever happens. Worst comes to worst, I will have a temporary set back in weight loss which I can live with. As I often say to people, life goes on. This is nearly always true and when seriously considered quite a fair statement - bad things happen but as long as you don't die you will most likely be able to get on with life. Please don't rail against this comment, citing AIDS, cancer, limb loss etc. The best stories about those conditions aren't about the people who give up and die; they're about the heroic individuals who accept it and get on with living while they can.

            Trying to raise the tone after that small downer, I've been challenged to have the body of a marvel superhero by the end of the month. I won't succeed but I'm going to do what I can to try. Until next post diet fans, farewell!

Closing in on the goals

            First things first; a shout out to my friend George who read this blog, got inspired and has started going to the gym. He doesn't need to lose any weight - quite the opposite - so is on a very different work out regime to me but I wish him the best of luck with it! It was pretty cool to be told I'd inspired someone to start pursuing their own fitness improvement plan and it only gives me greater reason to keep going.

            Secondly I am 209lbs as of this morning, so finally under the 15 stone mark. I've been struggling to lose than last bit of weight to get me under and I'm pretty damn happy that I've managed it. This means I am only 20lbs off of my goal of 189lbs - 13.5 stone. 20lbs may sound like a lot but since starting my diet seven months ago I've lost 50 whole pounds so I've definitely done the hard part. I'm making an estimate that 12 more weeks will see me reach that goal and I cannot wait!

            Now the slightly less positive side. I still have an unfortunate amount of shape to me. This is, a very brief bit of research using what are probably not professional sources and some which are tells me, because I have lost a significant amount of weight in a relatively short time and my body has had time to adjust gradually. I should continue to lose shape once I hit my goal weight and level off my diet but it is a little disappointing.

           

            All problems beg a solution, every obstacle is one to be climbed - so how do I tackle this? I could be patient and just wait. There are two problems with this; I'm pretty impatient as described earlier in this blog and it doesn't feel like a proactive response. In fact, it feels a lot like being lazy. So what is my chosen solution? More focused exercise! If I work out the areas that have the shape on them they should lose the shape faster. A genius hypothesis supported by (some of) the research I found.

           

            Now, what are the complications of that solution? Well, for starters I'm not that in shape. My half hour jog (extended to 32mins for a total of 3.5kilometres)  doesn't leave me quite as exhausted as it did before but I really do not feel up to doing squat thrusts or sit ups afterwards. My decision is to do 10 minutes rowing, increasing that as time goes on and my stamina improves but I don't know whether I can manage 10 minutes rowing on top of 30 minutes jogging. Do I cut back on jogging a little to fit the rowing in? Do I start with a lesser amount of time rowing? Do I wait until I'm in better shape to start rowing and just bring myself to do some sit-ups in the morning and evening?

            Probably a mixture of those choices. Waiting, as described above, is probably out and I don't really want to cut back on the jogging as I want to focus on my cardio and stamina - it's also better for calorie loss. So I may just do 5 minutes rowing and build on that to start with, coupled with some sit-ups before and after bed. We'll see how that goes and no doubt updates on it will appear here.

            I have also come to accept there are other things to do at the gym other than cardio. As I get closer to my goal I've started to branch out a bit and now include a ten minute weight session - obviously not continuous, exercise is staggered over that time because I know it isn't a good plan to start off by lifting continuously for whole minutes at a time. Why have I started this? Well, I did originally cast the idea out as I was focused on losing shape but now I've done 60-65% of that I want to start looking at fitness beyond not being obese. It's only a light session but a) that's the best way to start and b) it gives me a foundation to work on once I reach my weight goal. This will, as the cardio work has, increase with time and should hopefully mean I don't go through a stage of looking like a desiccated husk with bags of excess skin. Not a nice image at all, which is why I hope to avoid it.

            So all in all a very positive report, if three days late. However, while these posts are not quite regular they are becoming increasingly frequent so hopefully that'll compensate for it. As ever questions, comments and congratulations welcome! And to everyone out there who takes anything away from this please let me know and/or talk to me about it - even if it's questioning what I've said. As Descartes told us, a little existential doubt never hurt.

Pre-Monday Posting

            So it’s not quite Monday and I’m slipping in an extra post. I meant to write it on Thursday but I ended up having a recovery day instead – and no, writing a blog isn’t exactly a strenuous effort but I decided not to do it then. I was feeling quite exhausted and under the weather. All due to my own actions and by no fault of others.

            As of last Thursday I have re-introduced the practice of going to the gym. My brother and a close friend have been very supportive of this (they have come to watch me suffer) and all in all I have gotten more out of it than I’ve lost. This was until last Thursday – having gone on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday for a grand total of 8km jogged and 1.5 km rowed I was absolutely shattered and my body, lacking any real preparation for the sudden and significant infusion of exercise, was aching all over. Thankfully the gym was closed on Thursday for unknown reasons so rather than gym and lunch with a couple of friends I just had lunch. The mistakes didn’t end there, however. I ordered the hottest curry my local pub could make to test myself – on the basis it couldn’t be any worse than extra-hot Nando’s fare and was rewarded with the knowledge that it was in fact at least the equivalent. So, with my body aching and my stomach roiling, I crept back in to bed for a midday nap.

           This tale is cautionary, allowing me to share from my experiences that pushing yourself is good in moderation but I also thought I’d share a few revelations I had while at the gym.

            Firstly, I can manage a comfortable 3km in half an hour. I don’t mean I don’t come out of it sweaty and pretty tired; I mean I can do it without pushing myself too far. When I can manage it 5 days in a row and not be completely immobilized on the sixth then I’ll set the target further. I was surprised I could manage it when I first tried, and it did require some will power to push myself that far rather than stop early and call it a day – none of which was provided by a burning sense of one-upmanship or the fear of being beaten by a girl. Definitely not. BUT if I can do it so can most people – while I have been surprised by my new found level of fitness I don’t think it is exceptional by any means. As I have said before I think it is much harder to drive oneself to do this sort of longer-period exercise than it is to actually do it. The human body is an amazing engine of survival – the pilot is the one who decides which gear to put it in. The fight is definitely to maintain focus – or distraction – long enough to push one’s body to its limits.

            My next discovery was that rather than finding distractions inhibited my ability to exercise, I found quite the opposite. I can definitely put this down to desperately needing anything to occupy my mind in place of my body’s melodramatic report of flaring pain and utter exhaustion. If it’s the only thing you are thinking about it is of course going to become worse than it is – the mind is designed to protect the body and has a lot of early warning systems that can be misinterpreted as last-chance self-destruct warnings. These do inhibit the unprepared when it comes to straining oneself during exercise, as the body throws up messages to alert you that it is under strain. Pushing past those barriers is when it becomes a lot easier. I have found thinking about something else, listening to music and watching any of the ample number of televisions in the gym can just about allow me to start ignoring these messages and once I’ve focused on something else I can keep going for quite some time before I have any real difficulty.

            The third trick I have developed is to start fast and then reel it in a bit – I have a one-minute warm up and then go straight into a 7.5kmph jog for ten minutes before dropping down to 6.5kmph. After three minutes at that speed I go up to 7kmph for the remainder of my half hour. This gets my system running and allows me to maintain a slightly slower run speed for longer. This is possibly all psychosomatic and is just a way for me to trick my body’s warning systems but it works for me.

            None of this will be news to fitness junkies or gym regulars, and some of it may be less than optimal. It works for me at the moment and that’s what’s important as far as my weight loss and fitness is concerned. I will not, however, be going to the gym until Monday most likely, although a short session tomorrow isn’t completely off the books. I will be going to the gym more often as apart from the fitness benefit I cannot help but revel in the extra calories it grants me. I even had a full-fat coke and chips on Wednesday – although I would have rather traded the chips for popcorn in retrospect.

            So this post’s message is a simple one – don’t think about exercise and the effort it takes, just watch soap operas while on the treadmill and try to refrain from shouting obscenities at the characters for their small-minded and idiotic decisions. That, more than anything, is helping me train my will power and self control at the moment. Antiques shows, on the other hand, I find oddly hypnotic. Which is far more dangerous when you’re meant to be running at seven kilometres per hour on a machine designed to force you to do so.

Serious Birthday Binging

           I want to begin by saying I'm aware this is a week late. New job and stuffs. Distractions, mostly good. It's here and I'll try to keep up but no promises ^^ I cannot know exactly what the future holds so delays may occur again in the future. I'm sure we'll all survive.

          Two guesses what this post is about - you first guess is wrong if it was 'Chad's Birthday'. It was my brother's; Friday 13th September. It was a nightmare, but a good one. Bowling, drinking, feasting and good times were had. Net result is that I now weigh 213lbs. Which is a gain of one pound. How did I achieve this? Well, let's start at the top:

            Step 1) All you can eat world buffet. I ignored the salad bar.

            Step 2) I drank beer, primarily, rather than keeping with my normal tactic of drinking spirits. I probably drank less units but definitely more calories.

            Step 3) McDonalds. Yup. I had to sober up and it was the only place open. On the upside, some of it wasn't eaten and ended up on the floor. For those of you aware of my youtube channel the competition between myself and a friend for 'Semi-Olympic Chicken Nugget Catching' is showcased there.

            Step 4) Full roast dinner with all the trimmings. Family birthday meal, it would have been rude not to finish my plate.

            Step 5) Seconds of full roast dinner.

            Step 6) No additional exercise.

            There you have it lads and lasses - how to gain a pound of weight in three days! I also crashed my car in a builder's, broke my work laptop twice, the printer once and almost locked myself out of the show flat I work out of. So it was a weekend of chaos, excess and indulgery (totally a word) that I thoroughly enjoyed.

            In other news, I've got a little depressed about how little I can eat. My calorie limit per day is now 1420, which amounts to about three off-the-shelf sandwiches. Since I make my own I actually get to eat a little more but you get the picture; I'm starting to feel the hunger. As discussed over a lunchtime-meeting with a friend at a new, surprisingly nice cafe in the area I'm also running out of ideas for what to write here each week, hence the delay in this post. What are the remedies? How do I cure these various diet related ills?

            Well, the doctor has it: Gym. Firstly, I still have that membership I was meant to cancel. £60 wasted means I've got to work a lot of value out it and it'll help me get fitter - something I've become increasingly more concerned with as I approach my weight goal. Secondly, it gives me more to eat each day for a little bit of work - 303 calories in 25mins isn't bad at all, and I only left because my brother was bored and I drove use down. I suppose I could have let him drive back and then walked myself home, getting more exercise in, but I figured I'd done well and if I could keep up that kind of work three or four times a week from now on (God knows when I'll find the time but it'll have to be a priority) I'll get in shape, continue to lose weight and get to eat more a day. Win, win, win, it seems.

            How am I going to motivate myself for this? Well, I am getting motivation from several third parties, some of them via encouragement and some of them by out and out bullying. However, being called fat continuously has worked and I've made this effort so if it could stop until I stop going to the gym that would be FAB. Thank you, as usual, to all those involved in helping me on whatever level you do - from refusing to cook me desert or taking chips/crisps off my plate while we're playing games. It all helps and I'd be ungrateful not to be appreciative.

           

I Ate Some Chips and I Liked It

         On target and down to 212lbs - but the end of next week I should be below 15 stone! Needless to say, I'm pretty excited about it. Not that I can do much with it - it's not like getting a new car, for example. I can, however, throw out more of my fat-me clothes as they look a little ridiculous now. I actually changed what I was wearing on Saturday because of it. I'm feeling pretty proud and getting a lot of encouragement.

           

            However, as you may have gathered from the title of this post, I failed on my abstinence against potatoes. I do have a reason - my current diet is low in fibre, which those of you who know about these things will appreciate causes problems. For those of you who don't, fibre is important for getting rid of food once you're done with it. And, last night as I looked down upon my side of chips (came with the meal, not ordered specially) I was reminded by one of my companions that potato does contain fibre. So I admitted it served some purpose and tucked in - I was okay for calories as I had been planning to get something in the cinema we were going to after that, so skipped that instead.

            Obviously, I stand by my arguments which pollute this post; you shouldn't eat potato. A quick internet search revealed bananas are fairly high in fibre which is great news as they're high in potassium as well - something else my diet is lacking. So I have invested in some of those and will be munching my way through one a day as often as possible.

           

            I also bought some multi-vitamins. Personally, I believe you can get everything you need vitamin/nutrition wise from actual foods. This is correct; one can. It does not, however, mean that one does. My diet, while staying on top of my calorie intake, does not look after my nutritional needs completely and so while I look into amending that (for example, by having a banana a day) I will be taking them. Hopefully this will improve my general health and possibly even my demeanour - poor health, poor attitude after all - and I will detail that here over the next thirty days.

           

            Last update is that I have downloaded an interval training app after being beaten over the head with the instruction to do so. It doesn't look anywhere near as bad as I feared, but I am still suspicious. Partly, I'm naturally suspicious of anything new but also if I can't do it then I'll never live it down. I guess the only way to prove I can is by doing, though, so it will happen. I've also had a sleep cycle app recommended to me, as apparently unnatural sleep patterns can cause diets to be less effective. I can wholly believe this is the case, so no suspicion there. I will be giving it a look, which unfortunately means giving up my irregular but socially rewarding sleep pattern. Frankly, I'd rather live and staying up until 1-4am variously throughout the week is probably unnecessary.

           

            So there's the new update, enjoy. As ever, questions welcome; I will provide whatever assistance or information I can. Thanks to those who have already sent me an email/message or asked in person - it's always nice to know I'm not just talking to myself with these posts!

             

Clawing back into the Diet

            So it's been a while. About four weeks, actually. I haven't posted due to being busy and having a social life - or at least that's the excuse I'm giving. Writing up a post for this blog only takes about ten minutes, but since I've stopped working I don't have ten minutes on my lunch break where I would otherwise be twirling on my chair. I have also been struggling at the 215-217lbs mark for most of August thanks to a collection of social events organised by various wonderful people and all of which I thoroughly enjoyed. BUT I HAVE TRIUMPHED NOW and I am at 214lbs as of this post. Well done me, break out the low-calorie champagne!

            This post is going to be talking about excess, i.e. eating too much. Once a week, it's probably okay. But when you start letting yourself get away with it two, three, even four times a week that's your diet officially failing. If for a third or half your week you are going over you're diet, you are not dieting properly. You'll still make progress but it will be at a significantly reduced rate. Now, if you're just looking for a gradual loss over a longer period, that's fine. But if you want more instant results because you're impatient and prefer drastic changes to tiny incremental ones (like me) you're going to have to work harder at sticking to your diet. I have known for most of August that I have been letting myself down concerning the diet and while I haven't put weight back on, and have kept calorie amounts in mind a lot of the time, I have binged suitably to slow my weight loss to the rate of a crippled canal boat.

            On the other hand I haven't become massively depressed about it either. I knew what I was doing incorrectly and understood that the only reason I wasn't losing weight was because I wasn't trying hard enough therefore all I had to do was try harder again to start losing weight. I know that seems a little circular, but it links back to two of my guiding principles for dieting: 'Don't give up' and 'Make it your own'.

            Just because I stopped losing weight didn't mean I would never lose weight again. I can deal with a hiatus or a busy, filling month food-wise and then start dieting again afterwards. Even if I put weight back on I could look back on what I'd been eating and doing, and then analyse where I had been going wrong. I can also break from the diet pattern on occasion because I know what I am doing - I am constantly thinking about what I've eaten, what I'm going to eat, what I need to eat and what I need to do if I want to eat more. Seriously, if someone asked me at any time of the day I could give them a full break down of my calorie allowance, calories in, calories out and what sort of food I was considering for the rest of the day as well as any exercise I had planned.

            Basically, my diet is full time. It is a part of every minute of my day and constantly on my mind - some of my friends will freely attest to this, and I have been caught committing such crimes as trying to sneakily check the calorie content of marshmellows while shopping and trying to justify going 800 calories over my allowance for a portion of chocolate fudge cake. Some people diet part time, and that's how I started; they have an aid, or a system, or a program that monitors calorie amounts for them so they don't have to keep a personal track of the data. This caused me problems as I like to plan things and think ahead, so I quickly began to work out calorie amounts ahead of time. I think a lot of people who are really driven to lose weight - who accept they, as I did, really need to lose weight - quickly adopt this system as it gives one a lot more control and awareness of the diet and their dieting needs, and allows for more significant results in a shorter space of time.

            I am not saying dieting part-time doesn't work; it does. It just takes longer, like saving while working a part-time job. That's not what I want - as mentioned earlier, I am impatient when I know I can get results faster and I am driven, partly by myself and my own goals but also by the encouragement of my friends and family. I love hearing how much better I look now, and I also like being able to do more physically strenuous activities. No, I'm not at an Olympian level and no, nor am I as fit as I would like to be. Yet. But I will be, and I will be pursuing my goal until I am.

            I have a friend who is dieting as well, but on a less drastic level. He is losing weight, and is persevering with his diet and has done so over the last 3 months or so. He is getting results. But if I did it at his pace I would become frustrated by my lack of immediate results. Really, you have to diet as suits your attitude. My attitude makes me chase as much as possible as quickly as possible, in all things, and that is the overriding attitude of this blog as a result. There are other ways to diet, of course there are, but they don't work for me. So if you're reading this and you're dieting and it's different from my method, that's almost certainly great, because we're different people. I can only advise from my own experience, but I am happy to talk about other methods, and I accept they are out there. So if you're doing it differently and it's working, keep it up and don't lose hope! Even after three BBQ's, several pizza's, hot dogs, take out and a variety of other high-fat foods assailing your diet.

A week out of schedule BUT STILL HERE

            Once again I experience a pleasant surprise when one of my friends said to me, "I've been reading your blog." last week. I think I reacted with all the grace and poise of an epileptic goose on ecstasy but I did appreciate the comments the friend gave concerning exercise boards and the encouragement behind them. I also had to admit that when I write these entries I sometimes try to speak directly to specific people who (hopefully) read them. Not that I'm picking on one person and gearing everything I write towards them (except myself), more that when I have an idea or find something that might be relevant or helpful to someone I put it down here in the hope they read it and pick the information up.

            I do also mention it to them face to face if possible, just in case.

            I am now a 36" waist at 217pds and dropping fast despite yet more binging. Thursday I went to YoSushi! with my brother and cousin; we proceed to try and order three of everything on the menu. We never got any sake despite ordering it twice BUT we had a great time and a mountain of food. Then we went out, braving the wild night life of Guildford, and all drank considerably more than we should of. It was a great night and I really enjoyed it. I'm pretty sure they did too, despite us being the first people to get in Mambo except the weird semi-stalkish guy who was at the bar when we walked in.

            Friday was another night of drinking with all my old work people. A great laugh, a good night and something I'd like to do again, although only once I have a job which could sustain the flow of drink.

            Saturday I under ate by quite some way, and Sunday I was a little under despite a massive lunch and a wonderful barbeque. I managed this by eating a solitary burger at the barbeque, which I'm sure shocked everyone there.

            "So what's your attempt at a revelation this week, Chadman?" you might be asking. Well, loyal reader, it in fact concerns those exercise boards that were mentioned to me. I've had a (very brief) look into them and they seem like a great idea for someone with a busy schedule who wants to tone up. I do not have a busy schedule but will be trying one anyway to see what they're like. Mainly, however, they are for toning up and gaining muscle tone. Currently I have very little tone in my stomach muscles and have been advised that trying to gain it while also burning off belly fat could cause me to look like I'm not actually losing any weight for awhile. This is because while I do burn off some fat the muscles that develop beneath it will push the remainder out so I'll be in better shape but look the same.

            "Is that really so bad?" Well, psychologically it could be a little depressing - I'll be eating less but 'not gaining' anything, at least visibly. Yeah I know I appear to be accepting what the effects are and that I will be gaining out of it BUT as I told a friend who has also begun dieting recently accepting something on an intellectual level isn't always the same as actually believing it. And I'm enjoying throwing out clothes that are now too big for me and I never plan to wear again. "But you'll just have to put the exercise in later anyway if you want to look like Thor!" - very true, surprisingly vocal reader, but I didn't say I wasn't going to use the exercise boards. I'm just aware that it may cause temporary psychological annoyance.

            Also, to make this clear to those who may not have got the veiled message in the last half dozen posts or so, I am not going to the gym. I haven't been in about a month and need to cancel my membership as it is just a drain on my bank account. I am exercising, somewhat, by walking places or even occasionally just walking and doing about 30-40 push ups and/or sit ups a day. This is hardly a gym visit or a gym workout. I don't need to unless I eat more and I'm managing my calorie intake (just about) well enough to avoid needing to. Because I'm lazy. Just because I want to lose weight doesn't mean I have to give up being lazy as well. It's just a lot harder to work into my schedule.