The Old War Horse

               I managed three runs last week; one with my neighbour, one with a work friend and even one by myself. It was a net total of about an hour to an hour-ten on the run but I put some effort into pushing myself to run a little faster than I found natural. Hopefully it was of some benefit. I also spent six hours Airsofting on Saturday evening which was some pretty good exercise itself. This feels like a good return to me regime, but obviously I want to up it a bit. This is being done by bullying my neighbour into running longer, challenging my work friend and giving myself a little more time to run. Do I feel any better for this?

                Not really. This is unfortunate, but while I’m glad I am putting the effort in I have yet to feel a return to the boundless energy I felt I had access to over the summer. This, my friends, is called ‘losing fitness’. It can happen disquietingly quickly and is quite disappoint when discovered. However, on a positive note, it’s fairly easy to regain. I definitely don’t feel as unfit as I once was – not by a long shot – and I’m still quite comfortable doing twenty minute runs, even at higher speeds. However, half an hour is looking much harder than it once was. 

                The only way to fix this is with the application of effort. It’s not necessarily an enjoyable process but it’s going to be a rewarding one. So I’m pushing myself back into exercise, despite the cold weather, and trying to cut back on the zero-value foods I eat (potato has crept back into my diet and I feel this is the biggest reason for my difficulty). This is somewhat of a loss, but only in a superficial sense; my long term fitness and health will certainly benefit from it. But isn’t wanting to look good in and of itself actually a superficial attitude?

                The question arises after my brother recently asked me whether I thought he was shallow or not. This in turn made me question whether or not my focus on fitness and physical appearance was a shallow pursuit – and then, in turn, whether this was necessarily a bad thing. My conclusion was that it was shallow, but that it wasn’t bad or wrong of me.

                Why is it shallow? Well, I’m purely basing a virtue upon its outward appearance, with no closer analysis. Since my analysis of the problem lacked depth – I was fat, I wanted to not be fat/look attractive – the decision itself to lose could not help but lack depth. I was trying to increase my apparent worth based upon my physical appearance; the very definition of shallow! How could I ever doubt that it was for shallow or superficial reasons?

                Well, that’s all wrapped up in why it wasn’t a bad or wrong thing to decide. Firstly, I certainly do not judge my entire worth – material, intellectual and spiritual – upon how I look. I did not consider myself a ‘bad’ person because I was fat. It wasn’t morally wrong to be fat, nor ethically. As such my losing weight only affected myself in any serious way – my friends nor more like or dislike me now that I have lost weight compared to when I hadn’t, for example. They are impressed and encouraging, but it is a personal change for a personal benefit, and it was always going to be that way. So there was no socio-cultural fallout from me losing weight, nor was anyone harmed or hurt by it. Ergo, not morally wrong.

                Secondly (I do love my quasi-numbered paragraphs, don’t I?) there was the desire for attention – to be found attractive. I feel I, as a personality (a mind, philosophically speaking) was always attractive. I say this not to boast but to clarify and confirm that I did not and do not judge my worth purely upon my physical appearance. This said, losing weight has undeniably made me look and feel more physically attractive. Is that bad? Certainly not. It would be if I lorded it over others, or made people feel bad about how they look, but I have not done this in any way – at least, not deliberately or with intent and I hope in no other way at all. So again, though shallow in decision there is nothing ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ with it. 

                Thirdly and finally, humans are visual animals – evolved as predators or created as stewards, either role or belief makes us primarily visual beings. We definitely judge each other based on appearance; we’re wired to, we can’t help it. Closing your mind against revising that judgement is wherein lies the sin - social, moral and ethical. As long as you do not use just physical appearance as your sole measure of someone and their worth, you’re okay to make judgments about it. 

This also prevents the arguments use as a defence for not losing weight – “I’m not a shallow or judgmental person!” doesn’t mean being overweight makes you a better person. Just as surely it doesn’t make you a bad person, but please do not try to hide behind moral betterment to disguise a refusal to motivate yourself. Just as there is nothing wrong with being overweight, there is equally nothing wrong with being in shape.