I am
fat. Again – or still, perhaps. Not obese, although bordering on it sadly. I
broke my hand and that stopped me going to the gym and other exercises,
although on the running front that was just me being lethargic. But as of last
week I have run twice a week for 20-25 minutes and will be extended that to
about 30 minutes from next week onwards. Thanks goes to my brother who’s come
along on the runs, making them less of a trial. A couple of friends have also
got into the idea of exercising and have asked me to assist them – which is a
great opportunity for me! I will also have to get back into the habit of
chasing people to come running or exercising with me.
How did
the back-sliding begin though? I had such high hopes, so much motivation! Where
did it all go wrong? Well, the motivation flagged and I became a little
disillusioned with it all. I felt like I was out of control, and I rebelled
against the diet – I ate what I want, when I wanted and told myself I’d make it
up later with exercise, or that it was a one off indulgence. Clearly a one-off
indulgence every day is not, in fact, a limited diet.
I lost
focus. That’s the long and short of it. I was so close to my goal I slackened
off on my not-quite-ironclad grip on what and when I ate, thinking it would be
okay. Over two or three months I did this more and more, being able to excuse
each extravagance as a ‘treat’ or a ‘rarity’. This wasn’t the case. I was lying
to myself, and I was good at it. Having put on more than a stone, I now weigh
206lbs again. That’s a lot of back sliding. I unimpressed, disappointed and
angry. Which initially makes me want to comfort eat, which is very frustrating.
So the
runs are step one. Step two was signing back up to MyFitnessPal. Many people
fault this app/website, frown or brush off calorie counting and are generally
derisive about the idea of recording their intake and exercise regime. It’s
effort, I get that, and no, it might not be 100% accurate 100% of the time but
it is far, far better than nothing. It gives you an actual record, a list, a
trail of your successes and failures, it can give you an impression of what
should be cut from your diet and where and when. And really, it’s maybe 5-10
minutes out of your day. The reason people don’t want to do it, that they’re sceptical
of it, is that they don’t believe in it. Signing up and filling it out daily
will not physically make you lose weight, but it will help you find ways that
you can.
It will
also tell where you are going wrong. This is a big factor in why people don’t
want to use it; it will force them to either admit their weight is due to
something that they are doing, that it’s something that is caused by them and
it is a consequence of their actions. This is understandable, it is natural,
and it is a massive problem if you actually want to lose weight. Who cares how
it started, or if it’s your fault, or how long it’s happened for – stop it now.
Get past it, move on and then you’ll be able to fix it.
Step
three, for me, is this blog. It helps keep dieting and exercise in the front of
my mind – if I have nothing to report on here, then I clearly haven’t be
working that hard! So expect some more posts, hopefully entertaining,
informative or both, and if you’ve got any questions, quietly sticking away in
the back of your mind about it, or to help someone you know and care about who
is doing what I did and procrastinating on something I want to do, know I
should do, but don’t want to face up to the full responsibility of doing. I’ll
help however I can – even if it’s just bugging you to come running!
