So it's
been nearly a month! Three weeks? Ish? I should have lost another six pounds.
Man, being 190lbs would be great - that's only 10lbs from goal. That'd be
pretty good going, right?
Yes, is the
answer. As you may have guessed from my wording I have sadly not achieved this
progress. I am in fact now 197lbs - that's correct, I've put on one whole
pound! In actual fact I put on four and lost three, which sounds a lot better.
This was not due to a failing at Drogo'ing (Yes, that's totally a verb amongst
my friends and I now - although it doesn't mean we pour molten gold on each
other) but rather a spree of comfort eating and celebratory binge-ing.
I suffered
a couple of knocks to my confidence in the time since I last wrote, as well as
dealing with the stress of starting a new job while leaving another - by
Christmas I will have worked thirty of the thirty five days leading up to it.
This combination of emotionally draining factors explains the comfort eating.
The binges
were a combination of celebrations and indulging in the restaurant at my new
work place, which is superb but not too caring of diets - I'm pretty sure the
chef is from somewhere where the idea of not eating heartily is punishable by
becoming a yak and he would only laugh me down if I dared ask about calorie
content. I expect roughly 100% less sympathy for these reasons.
The lesson
I'm taking from this is that I can relax the diet - quite a lot - and still
recover from it. I didn't give up on the gym. Quite the opposite; I'm being
accused of being an addict and fear it may be true. A week without three gym
visits leaves me feeling like a failure now. I can also fit into 34" jeans
now for the first time in about six years, so I'm going to put some of the
weight gain down to muscle development and ignore people who argue otherwise
until it's true.
I did enjoy
eating whatever I wanted again but I definitely overate on several occasions
& felt pretty bad for it. Which is a good sign - I just have to heed it in
the future. I also definitely enjoyed drinking freely again but after half a
litre ish of vodka and a two-day hangover I've decided to give that up until
New Year. Which can only help the diet :)
How did I
give up excess and return to a self-inflicted, grueling regime of restraint
and self-denial? Firstly, my goal has not been achieved. This was foremost in
my mind & I knew it would remain incomplete unless I put the effort back
into working for it. Secondly I found it unrewarding once I'd gone too far. It
just wasn't worth it to continue eating after a certain point. So I put it
aside and got back on with working towards what I really wanted - a faster,
stronger, better me.
In one
sense I gave up overeating for the same reason a lot of people give up dieting
a short while after starting; habit and familiarity. This makes me happy - a
warm glow under my aching muscles and occasionally grumbling stomach that let's
me know I'm getting towards the level of fitness and the attitude which
accompanies it that I want to have. While the last three weeks have been a set
back they have demonstrated to me that I want to continue dieting and the
exercise on both a conscious and subconscious level. Which is golden.
So why
haven't I blogged in three weeks? Social life, new work, old work sign off,
family, gaming and more social stuff. Basically this part isn't habitual yet.
I'll work on it - but thank you & sorry to everyone who has chased me up
about this blog. I'll try to keep up with your interest in the future! Keep
commenting/messaging/telling me your thoughts and I'll try to keep responding
to them!
NB: I know England has a
tiny beach season and few enough beaches that accommodate it comfortably but if
I prepare now I'll be ready for it come July.
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